Merry Christmas, Darling
by They Call Me Alice
Summary: "You see, Jacob," I said with a small chuckle, delusional, "Monsters...that's what we were born as, and that's what we lived to be." Not something I'd advise reading if you're going to get offended by blood, or by the killing of Bella.


Hola, fellow readers! (: I was bored today...waiting on my grandparents/uncle/other people to get here so I decided to write this little one shot. I love reviews, but please don't bother wasting my time or yours if you're just going to say, "OMIGAW EDWARD WOULD NEVER DO THAT OMIGAW!!!!!! U SUK SO MUCH UGH U STUPID BITCH!!!" Yes, Edward would probably never do this had Stephanie Meyer written this. However, I am not Stephanie Meyer, so honestly, I don't give a shit. (: I write this, its my work. I am simply using her characters. So please, respect that and review!! (((:

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Twilight, New Moon or Eclipse. -.-;

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**.merry christmas darling.**  
_((oneshot))_

"_Greeting cards have all been sent  
The Christmas rush is through  
But I still have one more wish to make  
A special one for you."_

I didn't need a mirror to know how my eyes must look right now.

I could feel the lust writhing within me, tempting me; threatening to rip me from the inside out. My bones seemed to be on lust's side, cracking with every feeble move that I dared make. Almost as if they were inhumanly telling me I _needed_ it or they would break.

My tongue was next to go. It darted out from its wet cave and slithered its way around my lips hungrily, silently begging me to sink my teeth into that pale, fragile skin. It would be so easy, so, _so _easy to just bite and drink; to suck every ounce of that delicious strawberry nectar from its confinements. She wouldn't even see it coming—

I shouldn't think that. That is exactly what my body is tempting me to do; to act like the monster I was born to be. I've spent so many centuries proving those around me wrong, that it was possible for a vampire to go on living without the need of human blood. But hers…it was just so infatuating. So mystifying. It was what was causing me to forget every single promise I'd ever made to Carlisle.

_She is innocent! _I tried to convince myself, finding myself even more of a failure than I'd recently thought. I watched her unknowingly walk down the streets of Port Angeles, stopping every once and awhile to window shop. Her brunette hair fell so perfectly onto her shoulders, and for a second I was grateful of its length, protecting that so valuable space of her neck. It was keeping me from snapping, from rejecting everyone but myself. But it seemed the Gods were not fond of my praying. She swept that protective carpet from her shoulders to her back, exposing that same fragile area I had been glad I had not seen earlier.

My eyes widened and my nostrils flared as her scent soared through the waves of air, making it all the way to the top of the building I was perched on. That same scent I had smelled every night since I'd met her. But now…something was stronger about it; it was calling to me almost as if she had meant to provoke the monster within me with a stick.

Every thought I was having now revoked every previous one by a power stronger than anything I'd ever felt. I'd been holding the beast in its cage for so long and it was finally overpowering me. I was feeling nauseous, my vision swirling around me and I had to grasp a nearby flag pole to keep myself from tumbling over the edge. I was risking my entire family's exposure. I was risking my 'vegetarian' ways. I was risking everything, but no part of this new monster seemed to give a damn.

I felt my knuckles crack by my sides, my nails digging their way through my stone white skin. The artificial blood pumping its way through my system pumped harder and harder until it even began to fool me into believing I had a heart. A sick smirk caused my lips to curl upwards and I let loose a hushed chuckle.

I licked my lips. I crouched.

I closed my eyes, and with one final breath, let the beast go.

Her blood tasted so sweet, like that thing called candy I had remembered having as a human. It was so delicious; everything I had ever imagined and dreamt about. I had been waiting, _craving_, for so long that the simple pleasure of having done such an illegal deed made the thrill even higher.

Her screams had made it even more enjoyable. She begged me, told me this was not what she had planned; muttered some useless things about something I didn't particularly care about; called out my name over and over again, begging me to stop, to realize who I was, who she was. I ignored her, and I felt a wave of gratefulness wash over me when her voice faded into a small squeak, disappearing along with her soul.

I lifted my head and howled with an inexplicable laughter, the hooting rebounding off the city's buildings so all the world could hear it. I wanted everyone to know; I wanted everyone to know that my pain was finally over. I had gotten what I wanted and my hurting was finished.

I felt the red ooze sliding through the thin cracks between my fingers and I tightened them into a fist, enjoying how the blood squirted through them without mercy. Blood seeped from her neck onto my lap and soaked through my pants, staining them immensely. It wasn't just her neck that was offering her body's sweet nectar, however. It seemed every orifice on the woman I indulged in was being generous.

Blood poured from the large puncture wound in the side of her neck along with her open mouth, her luscious lips coated with a beautiful red, liquid icing. But she was far more enjoyable than a finely decorated cake. Oh yes, she was definitely worth putting on the top ten greatest tastes of all time.

I licked my fingers much like a small child would after having their ice cream melt all over them. However, I wasn't bothered by the stickiness left over; if anything, it made it all the more enjoyable to remember. I gave a sickening, white-toothed grin and sunk my teeth into the open flesh presented before me, eager to feel the flow of the sugary tasting substance leak into my mouth.

"What the Hell do you think you're doing?!"

The voice caused me to snap my eyes in its immediate direction. Without my permission, my body let loose a low hiss, much like a wild cat would if you were to dare intrude in its territory. My eyes, mere slits at this point, shot imaginary daggers through the apparatus of the body I could feel radiating warmth behind me.

Then, in that one fraction of a second I'd been knocked from my bloody ritual, everything came back to me. The world was no longer a dull buzz in the back of my mind but now very loud and directly in front of me. My eyes widened and my pupils dilated as I looked straight into a line of expertly hung Christmas lights. I squinted, straining to gain my vision back and trying to find out who exactly the darkened silhouette was in front of me. My hand rose to my forehead as if to block out the ever brightening lights, but to no avail. Deciding to drop it altogether, I turned away, tightening my eyes as I tried to get the dancing colorful swirls to disappear.

"I said, what the Hell do you think you're doing, you stupid bloodsucker?!"

The name, although I'd been called it many, _many _times before, suddenly hit home. As I reopened my eyes and stared down at the river of blood that was still flowing, my mouth slowly began to drop in shock. Was it me that had created this massive pool of crimson? Had I really…killed?

My tongue, this time a bit more cautious than before, drew from its captive holdings and as I licked the area surrounding my lips, I winced as I tasted the metallic, cold taste that only one substance on the entire Earth could have.

Blood. Human blood.

I had killed, that was for certain. But whom had I done the ridiculous deed upon? My eyes wound their way over the crumpled heap of a body (which I easily made out to be a woman due to the voluptuous curves it held) and I frowned. A swirling mass of brown waves covered the woman's face, hiding it from the world.

However, the voice in the background that had bothered me before seemed to know who it was by the amount of screaming he was doing. Rather irritable, really. I resisted the urge to growl menacingly and instead opted for reaching my hand out to brush the thick strands of brunette out of the female's face.

I gasped. The open eyes of the shocked female were a brilliant hazel, beautifully matching her hair. It didn't take me long to deduct who she was. Who she _had_ been. I bit my lip in terror, pure shock and resentment. How could I have done this? How could I have managed to take away the one thing that kept me sane; kept me _alive?_

_How could I have killed Bella?_

I choked, knowing fully well that if I had been human I'd have puked out the bile welting in my stomach at least six times. I stood hastily, backing up a few steps before I bumped into the hard chest of someone. Instead of a gentle push away due to awkwardness, I felt the owner of the chest's arms dart out and grab me, easily lifting me into the air.

"You son of a bitch!" The voice was back, this time screaming in my ear. It was assumable the voice belonged to the arms restricting me. I fought them, which on any normal day would have been an easy task, but right now I was feeling weaker than I had when I was human and sick with the Spanish Flu.

Suddenly, I lost the urge, the will, to fight anymore. As I continued to stare down through my blond locks at the distorted, bleeding body of the woman I had once promised eternal life to, I lost the will to live. If her life had been taken so easily, so unexpectedly, from her, I should give her the same respect, should I not?

"What the FUCK is wrong with you, you filthy—" The voice let loose a long howl, obviously too infuriated to think straight. I would be doing the same thing, had my anger not been conceived by my guilt and sorrow.

"Aren't you going to speak?! Say something about what you did?! Or do you just not care?"

I didn't respond, which only seemed to infuriate the man longer. I glanced up, noticing the boy's reflection in one of the nearby store's windows. It was Jacob. Jacob Black. The werewolf from the La Push territory. He'd had it in for me from the start, hadn't he? Then this would be an easy kill for him. Good.

The beatings lasted for God knows how long. I could only thank the Heavens we were in the back parts of Port Angeles. I had suggested this after all. I told Bella to spend time with the wolf; she had requested it once or twice and I thought it best to give into her at least once. However I decided to follow them just in case the wolf decided to pull something, and although I knew Bella would refuse like the sweet, innocent girl she was, I was going to make sure he didn't cause any unnecessary interventions.

It seemed I'd made my own inconvenient one in the midst of it all.

Punch after punch, throw after throw and kick after kick. Snarls reverberated off every building surrounding us, causing the ground to shake unearthly beneath me. It had to have taken a Hell lot of will power not to transform into his wolf form during this.

"You know, we have one thing in common," I spoke in a slightly slurred voice, my vision beginning to blur. One eye was open and the other was closed, swollen and bruised, probably to never be opened again. "One thing," I repeated. He stopped and stared at me incredulously, mouth open with shock.

"The one thing we have in common," I breathed in a hush whisper. My eye lifted its pupil up a few more inches until we were looking at each other directly and then I spoke, "We're both monsters."

I could feel him snap and I couldn't even comprehend my surroundings anymore. He let loose the longest, largest and loudest howl that I had ever heard in my entire century of living and it was then I knew he had changed.

"You see," I said with a small chuckle, delusional, "Monsters…that's what we were born as, and that's what we lived to be."

Everything went in slow motion from there. I could feel time warp and slow around me and with one final breath, tightened my eyes. His nails ripped through my shirt, then my skin and then my rib cage, puncturing my lungs. I felt the entire air supply dart from my mouth and I felt as if I was being suffocated, momentarily forgetting that I didn't necessarily need air to live. I coughed, my body jerking upwards as he ripped them back from within my depths.

And then his teeth began to rip away every single small fraction of skin I had left. More bones crushed. I was thankful for the fact I couldn't bleed; my tainted blood should not mix with that of such a pure soul. Encouraged by the fact that I would do nothing to fight back his rage, he sped up the pace and ripped, tore, shredded every single part of me he could get his grimy fangs and claws upon.

I heard the transformation and I could see what was going to happen next. Clothing shuffled followed by a small metallic click, then finally the igniting of flames. The heat felt so warming on my cold body as it drew closer until finally I could feel them sliding up my leftover limbs.

"There's a difference," Jacob spoke over the crackling embers burning through me, staring me straight in the eyes again, "Between being a monster and an animal. An animal you can tame and cage, a monster is unconstrictable. There can only be one of each, and I'm certain you've proved tonight which of us was the monster, Edward."

I closed my eyes, letting those dots dive back into my blackened vision. I smiled at the brightening white light, letting the leftover background Christmas music slowly fade out from my hearing.

"_Merry Christmas Darling  
We're apart that's true  
But I can dream and in my dreams,  
I'm Christmas-ing with you.  
I wish you a merry Christmas  
Happy New Year, too  
I've just one wish  
On this Christmas Eve  
I wish I were with you  
I wish I were with you." _

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